Rocky smiled at Kat as she sat down next to him. *Do it! Just tell her how you feel!* He took a deep breath, but before he could say anything, Kat interrupted him.
"Oh Rocky, I wanted to thank you for the other night. I'm sorry I fell apart like that...I just needed to talk to someone."
"No problem, Kat. I'll always be here for you. You know that, right?" *Okay, that was close to what you want to say. Just say it, Rocko. Or you're going to miss your opportunity.*
Kat smiled at him. "I also wanted to say that I...uh...I took your advice. I talked to Tommy last night and you were right, I did just have to stick to my guns and tell him how I felt."
Rocky felt as if he had been sucker punched. "Uh...that's great Kat."
It makes sense that it should happen
this way
That the sky should break, and the earth
should shake
as if to say: Sure it all matters but in
such an unimportant way
as if to say:
Rocky sighed; he knew he was going to have to apologize for the leaves comment. *It was the closest I ever came to telling her how I felt. * Even though his misguided plant had infected him with the chlorophyll poison that tried to turn him into a plant, he had not been that far gone when he blurted that out. He just kept pretending he was.
*What's the use, anyway? All she sees me as is the team clown. Good for a few laughs, nothing more. Man, I don't get it! What does Tommy have that I don't? For that matter, what do all the rest of the guys have that I don't? Tommy got Kim, Aisha had eyes only for Adam, although Adam never figured it out, and Aisha never admitted it. Adam finally managed to get Tanya; man, even Billy almost had Trini at one point! Where did I go wrong?*
It makes sense that it should HURT
in this way
That my heart should break and my
hands should shake--as if to say:
Sure it don't matter except in the
most important way
as if to say:
Rocky watched silently as Kat demorphed and pleaded with Tommy to break Gasket's spell. *Don't! Please, don't you know that I can't live without you?! * He wanted to scream, but he kept his mouth shut. He could not do that, not to one of his best friends, not even for the woman he loved more than life itself.
*Please don't kill her, Tommy. Snap out of it. You have to snap out of it. * He pleaded silently. He watched frozen as Jason, too, demorphed. He wanted to join them, if nothing else than to protect Katherine, but he could not make himself move enough to trigger his demorph. So he watched as Kat, with tears in her eyes, stared down the business end of Tommy's Zeo Blaster.
"Please come back to us." she told him, just before she wrapped him up in a hug.
Rocky felt his heart crumble into a million tiny little pieces, each one a sharp piece of glass that ripped him apart from the inside out. It was all he could do not to run and hide like a wounded animal. His friends needed him and he could not turn his back on them. Not even to spare himself further anguish.
Rocky watched as Kat and Tommy hugged after the big tournament. He held in the sigh he felt. Now he was truly on the outside looking in. Briefly he wondered if this was what Billy felt like. *Yeah, but he didn't have to watch the woman he was in love with totally ignore him for one of his best friends.*
*Get over it, Rocko. She ain't going to fall for you. Just look at her and Tommy, they're as tight as ever, and you're slowly getting farther and farther away. At least before you could see her for Ranger business, but now...I don't even have that anymore. *
As much as he hated to admit it, when Adam said that Tommy was so upset over Kim, he was ecstatic. Although he thought Tommy was a jerk for doing it, he really hoped that Tommy and Kim would get back together. That the playing field would finally open up for him.
*Boy, was I wrong. If anything, Muranthias only made her and Tommy's relationship that much stronger. I didn't really want them to break up, not really, but I just wish I had a chance. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever met, and I never had a chance. She only had eyes for Tommy since she got here. Nothing I could do would ever change that.*
Kat looked over at Rocky and frowned. He was over by himself, and it looked as if he was about to cry. Disengaging herself from Tommy, she went over to one of her closest friends. "Must have been hard, seeing Jason taking your place up there."
Rocky just shrugged and refused to look at her. For two years he had hidden his feelings for her, he could do it for just a few more minutes.
"Rocky, what's wrong?" she asked, her light accent deeper with concern. Concern for him.
"Nothing, nothing at all. I'll...I'll see you around Kat."
Kat caught his arm as he turned to walk away. "Don't leave, please. I know how much this must hurt, seeing me with Tommy. I'm sorry, Rocky. I'm sorry I don't feel anything more than friendship for you. I wish I did, but I can't tell my heart who to fall for. You're one of my closest friends, you're there to make me laugh and to listen to me when I have a problem. I couldn't ask for anything more in a friend, or a boyfriend...but I'm not in love with you...not like that."
Rocky tried to swallow past the lump in his throat. She knew. She knew how he felt and she was apologizing for not feeling the same. "Yeah...me too." he managed to get out.
"Rocky, please. I didn't mean to hurt you any more than you already are. Are we...can we still be friends?"
Rocky was silent for a long time. "It's okay, Kat. It's okay." With that, he turned and walked out of the arena, leaving his heart behind.