Last time on "Rangers on the Rocks," the Rangers were trying to work on a time machine to send Rhonda back to the future, but instead broke out fighting amongst themselves. Will they be stuck with Rhonda forever? Does Rocky think that's such a bad idea? And what about Zedd's midlife crisis? Find out next!
The Rangers stared at Aisha.
"Guys... it's Rhonda that's doing this to us..." Aisha whined. "We gotta stop the hate!"
"Yeah! Aisha's right." said Kimberly. "Aww.. I love you guys!"
"Yeah!" said Tommy. "Group hug! So, Billy." he added as the Rangers hugged. "How's the time machine coming along? Done yet?"
"D'oh!" said Billy. "This will take some time..." he said as he turned back to his scientific equipment.
"So, what're we gonna do 'bout Rhonda in the meantime?" Adam asked.
"Let's just try to ignore her." said Aisha. "Yeah." the rest of the Rangers agreed, except for Rocky.
"Aw, c'mon." Rocky protested. "What about love sweet love? I think we should give her a chance. She's not so bad."
"Well... yeah, I guess." said Kim. "I mean, maybe all she needs is a couple of whacks with a blunt object- I mean, a couple of friends. Yeah, um, a friend. Right." She cleared her throat.
"I know!" said Aisha. "Let's invite her mini-golfing with us this afternoon!"
"Yeah! Good idea!" the other Rangers congratulated Aisha.
* * * *
"Boy, I love putt-putt." said Kimberly perkily as the Rangers rounded the twelfth hole.
"Oh, yeah. It's, like, totally funsville. And stuff." said Rhonda, ultra-sarcastically. "TV has already been invented, right?"
"C'mon, Rhonda." said Billy. "Why would we want to be watching TV when we could be out here in the fresh air?"
"Oh, yeah!" Rhonda smirked. "And after this, why don't we go hang around the Juice Bar, make small talk, and drink juice until our bladders explode or our brains melt down, whichever happens first?"
"Sounds totally awesome!" enthused Aisha. "Neeargh..." Rhonda responded, fingers twitching.
* * * *
Meanwhile, on the Moon, Zedd was disgruntled.
"My Lord, I've been studying the Rangers as you commanded!" Goldar interrupted his master's evil funk.
"I should care... why?" Zedd asked apathetically.
"They're playing mini golf, Your Evilness." Goldar encouraged. "Don't you want to make a monster?"
"Why would I want to do that?" Zedd grumbled.
"To destroy the Rangers?" Goldar suggested impatiently.
"Look, Goldar, I'm going to be blunt." Lord Zedd stated. "I really don't feel up to a monster right now... and I don't want to send you down because those pesky Rangers would only defeat you, and then we'd both be depressed."
"I understand, My Lord." grumbled Goldar. "May I at least send down the Putties?"
"Whatever, Goldar." sighed Zedd. "The Putties won't defeat the Rangers, but they might ruin their game... and that's about as good as it gets around here."
****
"Blue ball go down the hooole!" Kimberly squealed. "Not the blue ball, the pink ball!"
Rhonda groaned. Suddenly, a horde of putties appeared at the far end of the course.
"Huh?" said Tommy, startled. "What's going on?"
Rhonda gave him a look. "Putties, you moron."
"Here?" Adam asked apprehensively.
"Where else? You are the Power Rangers, aren't you?" Rhonda snapped.
"But why now?" Kim asked as the gray bodies bounced ever nearer.
"Why not?" snickered Rhonda, tossing her putter aside and dusting off her hands. She slipped off her heels and dashed ahead, bare-footed, to be the first to encounter the putties. "Even getting my butt kicked is better than... mini golf." she muttered to herself.
The rest of the Rangers followed. "Time to use my putter!! Fore!" called Rocky, swinging wildly.
"Fore... what?" Adam asked.
"For... hittin' Putties." Rocky laughed. "Get it? Putter? Putties? It's a putty pun! Ow! Ow, Rhonda! You're s'posed to be hitting the putties!"
"Rocky... shaddup and fight!" called Tommy.
"Well, I thought it was funny." Rocky frowned.
"This wouldn't be a problem if you all got out more." grumbled Rhonda.
Quickly, the Rangers dispatched the Putties.
"Yeah! All right, guys!" Tommy congratulated the group.
"Yeah! I rock!" said Rocky. He hi-fived Adam. "Get it? I, rock? Rocky?" The Rangers laughed supportively at Rocky's meager humor effort.
"Give it up!" groaned Rhonda. "I've been hanging around you guys for half an hour, and that's the most pathetic joke I've heard yet!"
Kim and Aisha looked up from their bestest-friends hug. Adam and Rocky faltered in mid-extremely-cool-hi-five. Billy and Tommy stopped slapping each other on the back masculinely.
"Uh, Rhonda..." said Tommy. "We're just trying to celebrate how we beat the Putties..."
"Puh-leez!" Rhonda gagged. "You do this every stinkin' day! Doesn't it ever get old?!"
"Well, like excuse us for living, and stuff!" Kim wailed.
"Yeah, c'mon Rhonda," Tommy exhorted. "You gotta be a team player. Teamwork is important... think about Power Promise number three."
"I'd rather be gagged with a jackhammer sideways." said Rhonda.
"All right then." said Tommy somberly. "You give me no choice."
"Uh oh... is this what I think it is?" asked Rhonda nervously. Tommy nodded. Slowly, he stuck his lip out. Then he hung his head. And finally, he gave her his patented Sad, Homeless, Lost-in-the-Rain Puppy Eyes.
Rhonda winced as Tommy turned the full force of his melancholy pout in her direction. "Geez... the lip, the eyes, the bad posture... 'S a triple threat!" she murmured, unable to turn away from the sad gaze. But her will was not completely broken until Tommy added the final touch, blinking pitifully.
"Ohh... How can I resist that!?" Rhonda said aggravatedly. "Fine! You win!"
"Great." Tommy grinned.
"For now." said Rhonda, slipping back into her shoes.
"Hey... where are you going?" Rocky asked. "Off to melt my brain." said Rhonda cryptically. She stumbled off, muttering to herself, "The Juice Bar can't possibly be worse than the Power Pout... man, the history books weren't lyin' about that one..."
"Good goin' Tommy." Kimberly smiled.
"Yeah, you sure put her in her place." Aisha agreed.
"Now if we could only put her in her time." Billy frowned.
Adam said something that no one but Rocky heard.
"I dunno, Adam... I'm kinda gonna miss her when she's gone." Rocky sighed.
"C'mon, Rocky." said Tommy. "This is no time for your stupid jokes."
"No, I'm serious!" said Rocky. "I mean... she's spunky! And I like spunk!" He blinked. "Ow! Hey! Cut it out, guys! That's not what you're supposed to use your putters for!"
"Well, I don't feel like golfing anymore anyway." grumbled Kimberly.
"You wanna go hang at the Juice Bar instead?" asked Aisha.
"Sounds good to me." said Billy.
"No, not you, Billy." said Tommy. "You go back to the lab and work on the time machine."
"And call us the minute you find something." Aisha added. "Or, the minute before!" She laughed.
"Okay..." said Billy, heading back to his lab. "Have fun, you guys."
* * * *
And on the Moon, Goldar was still mightily itchy for a battle scene. "Oh, c'mon, your evilness. Please send a monster?"
Zedd slumped in his chair. "You know, I might as well."
"Yes! That's the spirit." Goldar grinned. "You're finally in the mood to rip apart those Power Rangers, my lord?"
"No, I just want to get this stupid story over with as quickly as possible." Zedd groaned, and aimlessly pointed his wand at the golf course. "Arise... PuttPuttHead..."
Goldar frowned.
* * * *
The Rangers, sans Billy, entered the Juice Bar.
"Hey, it's Rhonda!" said Rocky happily. He ran up to the bar where Rhonda was sipping yet another Coke on the rocks. "Hey, Rhonda..." he said.
"Hey, Rock-man." said Rhonda. "Where are the rest of the Rangers?"
"Uh, they were right behind me..." said Rocky. He glanced back into the hall, where he saw the other Rangers gesturing urgently and pointing to their wrists. "Shoot!" said Rocky. He headed for the door.
Rhonda headed for the bathroom.
"Come on..." said Rocky, grabbing her arm and pulling her out into the hall.
The Rangers and Rhonda teleported to Angel Grove Park and looked around for any signs of impending doom. "It doesn't look like anything's up," said Aisha.
"Well, Zordon said there was something, so we better keep our eyes open." suggested Tommy.
"Yeah." said Rocky. "Um... and maybe Rhonda and I could go look over there, by the lake."
"Rocky and Rhonda, sittin' in a tree..." Adam hummed. "We're talkin' serious shades of Scorpina here, Big Red..."
"Hey!" said Rocky, blushing. "Whose side are you on, anyway?"
Adam smiled. "I'm on the side of true lo-"
"Shaddup, ya little frog!" Rhonda snarled. "Then again, don't bother... it's not like we're gonna get anything meaningful outta you in a while... what's the matter?" Adam had gone pale.
"Did you say... frog?" Adam asked in horror. "I hate frogs!"
"Er... frog?" backpedaled Rhonda. "Uh- no- I meant... uh... Look, a monster!" she said, pointing. "Phew, saved by the bell... C'mon, Tommy... this is your cue!"
"Wha?" said Tommy.
"Sheez, I gotta do everything myself..." Rhonda muttered. "All right, guys... It's Morphin' Time!"
WHITE TIGER!
MASTODON!
PTERODACTYL!
SABER-TOOTH TIGER!
TYRANNOSAURUS!
RHINESTONE POWER, NOW!
* * *
Next time on 'Rangers on the Rocks,' will the Rangers defeat the monster? Or will Rhonda's attitude problem be the end of them all? What is up with her anyway? Find out next time in the thrilling conclusion of 'Rangers On The Rocks!'
Author's Note: The "Time to use my putter" joke is a direct rip-off from Mystery Science Theater 3000, episode Pod People.
