The morning sun shone brightly over Angel Grove as the citizens went
about their daily tasks. In the outskirts of Angel Grove in a barren desert,
tundra blossoms craned their stems skyward while small lizards hid themselves
in the shade of the rocks that dotted the landscape. The most wonderous
thing to see, however, was a large structure that dwarfed everything else
in its shadow. This was the command center where the giver of the rangers'
power, Zordon, dwelt.
Inside the steel haven, a small robot by the name of Alpha 5 was scurrying
about, twisting knobs and viewing moniters. Nearby hovered the face of
the evanescent being Zordon in a tube of swirling colors. He watched silently
as Alpha went about his morning tasks until finally he spoke.
ALPHA, SYSTEM REPORT PLEASE, Zordon said in a voice that he hadn't meant
to sound so loud.
Alpha started at the sound of his call and then whirled around to face
his master. "All units are functional and everything is onli--yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi..."
ALPHA, WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM? Zordon asked as the peculiar new noise
persisted.
"yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi..."
was the only response that the robot gave him.
Zordon appeared deep in thought for a minute when suddenly a look of knowing
crept over his face. YOUR CIRCUITS HAVE STUCK AGAIN, HAVEN'T THEY, he asked
as small ribbons of smoke began curling out of where Alpha's ears would
be if he had any to speak of. I THOUGHT SO, Zordon said as a series of
buttons began to press by themselves on a panel below him. In a moment,
the room had filled with the hissing sound of static.
For a moment, there was nothing but then Tommy's voice broke through. "I
read you Zordon." he said.
TOMMY, TELEPORT TO THE COMMAND CENTER AT ONCE. I AM EXPERIENCING A PROBLEM
WITH ALPHA.
There was a sigh on Tommy's end of the connection. "But Zordon, I
don't know anything about machines." he protested.
ALTHOUGH I WOULD NORMALLY TURN TO BILLY ON SUCH MATTERS FIRST TOMMY, WHAT
I ASK IS VERY SIMPLE.
"What do I have to do?" Tommy asked.
I WILL INFORM YOU OF YOUR TASK WHEN YOU ARRIVE," Zordon said flatly.
"Well, okay then. This is Tommy over and out." he said as the
connection was terminated.
DON'T WORRY ALPHA, HELP IS ON THE WAY," Zordon said, trying to console
his friend.
"yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiy...."
Tommy arrived shortly afterward in a flash of bright light. He listened
for a moment to the peculiar sound until he became quite annoyed. "What's
wrong with him, Zordon?" Tommy asked as he clapped one hand over the
ear closest to the racket.
HIS CURCUITS HAVE STUCK AGAIN, Zordon informed Tommy. I NEED YOU TO JOSTLE
THEM BACK INTO MOTION.
"Uhh, okay lets see here..." Tommy muttered as he opened a hatch
on Alpha's back and began fiddling with various wires and buttons.
NO TOMMY, NOTHING LIKE THAT, Zordon scolded.
"Well then what do you want me to do?" Tommy asked in a frustrated
voice.
I NEED YOU TO HIT HIM, Zordon said quietly.
Tommy almost fell over. "Hit him?!?" Tommy exclaimed.
I BELIEVE THAT'S WHAT I SAID TOMMY. ITS THE ONLY WAY.
Tommy looked down at Alpha who was still making the odd noise and cradling
his head in his hands. Although he would never admit it to anyone, he was
really going to enjoy his task. Tommy swung his arm back and hit Alpha
as hard as he could straight in the chest. The robot stumbled backward
and fell to the floor with a groan.
"Alpha! Are you all right?" Tommy asked and helped him up.
"Oh my aching batteries!" Alpha exclaimed as he slowly got to
his feet. "Yes Tommy I think that I'll be just fi--yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyyiyiyiyiyiyi..."
"Whoa! That didn't work?" Tommy asked Zordon.
EVIDENTLY NOT. PLEASE TRY AGAIN TOMMY, Zordon said, watching the both of
them intently.
"Sorry Zordon, but I need to get back to gym class before the teacher
misses me."
TOMMY, I IMPLORE YOU TO STAY, Zordon pleaded, but Tommy had already teleported
out of the command center. Zordon heaved a sigh that vibrated the walls.
It occurred to him that he could always teleport Tommy back to the command
center and hold him there until he fixed the problem but then decided against
it. MUST I DO EVERYTHING MYSELF, he said in an exasperated voice.
In a whirlwind of bright color, Zordon's tube broke and he lunged out of
the confines of it. He was not at all what anyone would have expected to
see, and rivaled Bulk and Skull in appearance. His greasy blond hair was
pulled back into a ponytail, on his chin was an unkept goatee, and he was
wearing tight jeans and a shirt with a blazing skull on the front. He could
just imagine what the rangers would say if they were there.
"Zordon! You're-----A PUNK!"
Indeed, the indimensional tube had blurred his face considerably and so
they saw nothing except the intelligent mind behind the appearance.
Now he raised an aluminum bat that he happened to conviently be carrying
with him and and bludgeoned Alpha with it. The little robot had time to
utter one last strangled "yiyiyi" before all that was left of
him was a pile of sparking remains. Zordon's breathing became short but
never the less he was grinning through a mouthful of crooked and yellowed
teeth.
"Oh I'll die pretty soon, but DAMMIT it was worth it!" he cried
as everything about him dissolved into a milky haze. Zordon suddenly felt
very warm and weightless as he flew down a bright passage and stopped in
front of a large gate that was studded with pearls. "Where am I?"
he asked the thin air.
"Zordon, welcome to paradise." came the voice of a kindly old
man. There to greet him at the gate was St. Peter himself. "You have
done much for the good of humanity in your life. Please go right inside."
He urged as the gates yawned open.
Zordon crossed over into the heavens with a broad smile on his face. _So
this is the afterlife,_ he thought to himself. _No more Zedd, no more sirens
blaring, and no more..._ "ALPHA!!!" he cried as he saw the object
of his loathing waiting for him on the other side of the gates.
The robot ran toward him with his arms stretched out for a hug. "Zordon!
Hi--yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyyi..." he exclaimed.
Zordon backed away from the approaching annoyance until he had stumbled
back through the pearly gates.
"What--what is the meaning of this, Zordon?" St. Peter huffed.
"Why wouldn't you want a rest from your hectic life?"
Without an answer, Zordon quickly grabbed for the old man's large book
of records. Taking it in both hands, he swung it over his head and clobbered
Alpha with it. With a meaty whap and the fluttering of a few white feathers
from the crushed wings, Alpha had come to an end yet again.
St. Peter was red in the face and his eyes were as big as dinner plates
as he made his next statement. "Foolish mortal! Trix are for kids!---er
no, I mean, now you must be expelled from the heavens and sent to the lands
below!"
With that, Zordon was whisked from the haven and sent reeling through space.
Suddenly he came to a jolting stop and looked about himself in bewilderment.
This new land was engulfed in flames, and was serenaded by the sound of
tormented screams but no Ay yi yi's much to his relief.
Zordon settled onto a large flat rock and stretched out his back on its
scalding surface. It was a little uncomfortable but at least he could now
get some much needed rest. He let his eyes slip closed, lulled by the sound
of boiling lava nearby. What he failed to see were the legions of Alpha
5 units that were parading over the horizon in a solid wave with one mission
and one mission only, to torment the new prisoner. Quickly they all set
their functions to "stutter".
"Ayyiyiyyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi...."
