..........Rocky hadn't been sure what to
think when Jason had asked him to go flying. Still, he'd met him where
he asked, the zord storage chamber beneath the command center. After a
brief delay, Jason had arrived. "Let's go, I have something I want
to show you."
..........Silently, Rocky took the Red Dragon
Thunderzord out, cruising above the clouds. Suddenly, the cloud cover broke
and Rocky could see the vastness of Angel Grove laid out before him. The
sight took his breath away, everything seemed so tiny, so fragile.... "You
feel it?"
..........Rocky was almost startled by Jason's
voice at his side, he hadn't noticed when Jason had unbuckled from the
passenger seat and moved forward. "Feel what?" he croaked out.
..........Jason smiled. "You feel it.
When you look out there," Jason gestured out the canopy to the vista
of Angel Grove unfolding beneath them. Involuntary, Rocky shivered. "You
feel the responsibility." Jason's voice lowered, almost a whisper
in Rocky's ear. "The fate of all those people, more, the entire earth,
it's in your hands. You have been appointed their protector, they look
at you, they feel safe, secure. They trust you to see them through."
Rocky closed his eyes, Jason's words were ringing deep, how could he hope
to live up to all that? He felt a vertigo like he was standing on the brink
of some great precipice, scrabbling desperately not to fall in. "Almost
a covenant. You will lay down you life before you let the least of them
come to harm. You are their only hope."
..........Rocky turned to Jason, their faces
almost touching, his face ashen. He felt sick. "Please, stop."
It was a whimper.
.........."You are their champion, of
all humanity, they have chosen you."
..........Rocky was beginning to curl into
a ball, it was all just to much!
.........."Power Ranger."
..........Rocky breath was coming in shuddering
breaths, almost sobs, but he couldn't stop! It just came back to him, all
those people..! He'd played this, like it was a game! He couldn't--
..........He was suddenly aware of Jason's
presence near him, holding him, "It's all right, it's all right. You
didn't know, you couldn't know...."
..........Rocky's voice was a whisper, "I
should have known--"
.........."No!" Jason grabbed Rocky
by his shoulders, forcing him to look Jason in the eye. "Look at me.
Look at me! It's not your fault. You had no way of knowing. And more importantly,
even if you didn't know, you didn't screw up! It's all still there!"
..........Rocky was babbling, "No, no,
one mistake and it would have been--" Jason slugged him. Rocky blazed
back, one gasping intake of breath, his eyes full of fury.
..........And he found none mirrored in Jason's
eyes. "Are you over yourself?" Jason's eyes twinkled, it could
have been a joke.
..........Rocky felt his fury drain away,
in its absence he felt bitter cold. Jason guided his hands over the controls
before Rocky could slip into another self-indulgent bout of recrimination.
"Here, I want to show you something."
..........The zord changed course, accelerating
north. In the distance, the sun began to creep below the horizon. Rocky
was silent for most of the flight. Twice, he almost spoke up but changed
his mind. Finally he steeled up his nerve. "Jason?"
..........Jason looked up, he'd been reading
a magazine of all things, he quickly tucked it away. "Yeah man?"
..........Rocky was flustered but went on,
"You... you jerked me around pretty heavily back there."
..........Jason sat back in his seat, he seemed
to be studying Rocky. "I know."
..........For a moment Jason's passive response
angered Rocky. "You're not going to make this easy are you?"
He asked angrily. Almost immediately he was ashamed, he'd let his emotions
get the better of him again.
..........But Jason's face showed no displeasure.
He remained dispassionate, maybe a bit of grudging approval around the
eyes. "No man, it's not supposed to be easy. It's hard. And you're
gonna have to realize that real quick if you're gonna make it."
..........Again Rocky felt shame, why was
Jason doing this to him? He knew that it wasn't supposed to be easy, it'd
just come out wrong like always....
..........But instead of commenting further
Jason reached forward and triggered a switch somewhere above Rocky's head.
"We're here."
..........Rocky blinked. The Zord was metamorphosing
into warrior mode, and descending! Desperately he studied at the controls,
why hadn't he been paying attention earlier? Damn! The GPS was grayed out,
they'd landed and he didn't even know where they were! "Where's here?"
..........He turned around only to see Jason
shrugging on a windbreaker before exiting out the external hatch. His head
popped back down, "Come on!"
..........Scrambling, he grabbed his own windbreaker
from the Zord's survival pack and headed topside. Some job he was doing,
was there anything he could do to make Jason any less impressed with him
before this trip was through? Pulling himself through the outer hatch,
he spotted Jason sitting cross legged on the Zord's left shoulder. Rocky
tentatively made his way over, careful the wind didn't sweep him off the
zord. When he caught up with Jason, Rocky saw that his eyes were closed.
Had he made the entire walk out with his eyes closed? In this wind? His
eyes trailing back along the path Jason must have followed to this perch,
he picked out the nonskid gripping laid out over the armor leading from
the hatch to this very spot. It was tinted the same red as the slick armor,
he'd never have seen it if he hadn't been looking for it.
..........While Rocky had scrambled his way
over at fear for his life, Jason had walked calmly. Again Rocky felt inadequate
for the task ahead of him, Jason knew this Zord like the back of his hand,
how could he ever hope to compete? But for some reason, he was now a Power
Ranger and Jason wasn't. Feeling very, very alone, Rocky reached out for
Jason's shoulder, "Jason...."
..........Jason didn't even open his eyes.
"Do you see it?"
..........For the first time, Rocky looked
at his surroundings. The zord had set down on a beach. Behind it, giant
pines dwarfed the fighting machine, and in front if it... "My God."
..........As he watched, he felt the battering
winds about him die, a sudden stillness gripped the air and he Saw. The
lake stretched out almost to the horizon, and as the wind halted it's surface
became almost like a mirror. He saw the moon, the stars.... Rocky looked
up, straight up. The stars were everywhere... all he could see was the
stars from horizon to horizon, his knees began to buckle....
..........He felt Jason's hand on his wrist,
steady. Rocky sat down, hard. "Where are we," he asked, his voice
filled with wonderment.
..........Jason laughed. "Northern Canada.
You've never seen stars like that before have you?" Rocky shook his
head mutely. "It's the city lights. They dim out the stars. The effect
isn't even noticeable until you're out in the middle of nowhere."
..........Rocky suddenly realized that Jason
hadn't taken him out here to make him feel bad. He'd had an entirely different
purpose in mind. "Jason, why are we here?"
..........Jason gestured expansively over
the lake, "Why do you think?"
..........And Rocky knew this was why. Jason
was going to leave, nothing could change that, but before he left he wanted
to know if Rocky could carry on. Rocky looked out over the lake, "I
think it's...." He hesitated.
..........Jason smiled, "Rocky, there
are no wrong answers."
..........Rocky smiled back weakly. How could
Jason could be so damn intimidating and so at ease at the same time? "You
want me to appreciate what I'm fighting for."
.........."And?" A raised eyebrow,
half the answer?
..........Rocky struggled, "And...."
Suddenly he knew. Not just thought he knew, he knew. "You want me
to understand that this is why I'm fighting for."
..........Jason cocked his head, "That
sounds like the same answer." But the recrimination was empty, he
knew Rocky had it.
.........."No! The first one is my goal,
I have to protect the earth. The second one is why I fight. I can't
afford to see this as just something I do. I can't fight just to fight.
Whenever I go into battle, I have to see this as a battle for the earth,
not against Zedd or Rita. Because...." Here he struggled before getting
the rest of it out, "a battle won for the wrong reasons is a battle
lost?"
..........Now Jason nodded. "You've got
it. That single realization, the difference between what you fight for
and why you're fighting is the toughest to understand. Some of the greatest
warriors go their entire lives without it."
..........Rocky was struck by another realization,
"Tommy doesn't get it does he, that's why you think it's so important
that I do. He doesn't understand the difference."
..........Now Jason closed his eyes, "Tommy
is... a special case. You know he was chosen by Rita? She chose a warrior
spirit, someone who could keep fighting when anyone else would have given
up, should have given up maybe."
..........Rocky leaned back on his palms,
"And he doesn't see this as a fight for the earth. He sees it as a
fight against Rita and Zedd." He turned to Jason, "Is that a
failure?"
..........Jason bit his lip, it was obvious
he hadn't planned on the conversation going this far, hadn't counted on
Rocky seeing this deeply. But he'd never started something he didn't intend
to finish and he'd be damned if he was going to start now. "You have
to understand... Tommy was traumatized by his treatment at Rita's hands.
Further hurt by Zedd's slow draining of his powers. He has a lot of anger
inside him, a lot of resentment. Of all of us, he has suffered the most
and been the least prepared for it."
..........Rocky digested that, "So he
is fighting for the wrong reasons, but it doesn't make a difference?"
.........."I didn't say that."
..........Rocky was silent for a moment. It
was obvious Jason wanted him to come to the next conclusion himself. His
gaze wandered to the lake again, to the moon. He looked up. Rita and Zedd
were there somewhere. "He thinks like they do, doesn't he?"
..........Jason just closed his eyes. "That's
was the fight for the green powers was for wasn't it? It wasn't for the
earth's defense, in the end they were too drained to do any good. It was
to keep Rita and Zedd from taking that from him too."
.........."Yes."
.........."He should have given them
up, when Zedd first began his campaign against Tommy, but if he'd done
that, Zedd would have taken them from him just the same, but it would have
hurt more." Jason opened his eyes. "It was much easier for him
to just keep fighting until Zedd won that battle. But he kept on fighting
beyond the point any sane person would have given up."
.........."It didn't make a difference
did it?"
.........."Not that time."
..........They sat in silence. Somewhere a
lake fowl called its mate. "You had this talk with him when he got
the tiger coin didn't you?"
.........."Yes."
.........."What happened?"
..........Jason sighed deep in his chest.
"I took him out here, talked to him about power and responsibility,
he admired the landscape."
..........Rocky closed his eyes, a silent
ouch forming on his lips. "And you wanted me to know because...."
.........."Someone has to know. I think
Billy understands it emotionally, and Adam's well-centered enough to feel
something's wrong. But I think at least one person has to understand the
difference intellectually."
..........Rocky's eyebrows crinkled and a
smile formed on his face, "You're saying I understand something intellectually
that Billy doesn't?"
..........Now Jason's smiling, "It's
an intellectual argument about an emotional process, but yeah, that's the
long and short of it."
..........Now Rocky was grinning from ear
to ear. "Cool."
..........The moon rose high in the night
sky.
..........Jason stood so suddenly that he
startled Rocky, "C'mon, the wind's picking up, we should be heading
back."
.........."Yeah." Rocky spared one
glance at the lake as it's mirrored surface dissolved into a thousand shattered
pieces. The moon still shone overhead. "I think we should."
