Ready or Not, I've Got You
by : Crypt

As if having Elgar propose over and over wasn't bad enough, Jenny now had to resist the persistence of Darkonda. It would be much more difficult because Darkonda was much more intelligent, more evil, and more forceful than Elgar could ever be. Jenny knew that Darkonda wouldn't listen to reason; and when he did, he just didn't give a damn.

In the Dark Fortress, Darkonda turned to someone who knew Jenny well --- Elgar.

"I've asked Tonfa Spice to marry me," Darkonda began.

"She refused, didn't she?" Elgar asked.

"Yeah....she did," Darkonda replied. "What can I do?"

"Just let her go. I asked her over and over, but she just wouldn't marry me. I even kidnapped Candy Spice to force her into it, but the other Spices and the Rangers messed everything up."

"Did you say to just let her go?"

"Yeah."

"Never! When I want something, I take it! Do you understand!?"

"Yeah, okay," Elgar said. "But Tonfa Spice isn't a 'something,' she's a 'someone.' "

"Whatever. I want her; therefore, I take her! Got it!?" Darkonda demanded.

"I got it, I got it!" Elgar stammered. "But she's under the legal age. I do know that she can marry if she had a parent's permission, but she has no parents....."

"In that case, I'll just get permission from her mother Astronema."

"Ooops. I forgot about that."

"Hold it!" Ecliptor called suddenly. "What makes you think that Tonfa Spice will marry the likes of you?"

"Not to worry, Ecliptor," Darkonda replied. "I have a gift for her; she won't be able to resist."

Darkonda left the room to speak with Astronema......

* * *

On the Simudeck in the Astro Megaship, Spinal and the Cryptkeeper were playing pool. It was Spinal's turn. He failed to shoot the ball into the pocket.

"Ooops. Too bad," the Cryptkeeper said.

"Uh-huh," Spinal said.

Andros peeked into the Simudeck. "Hey, where's Jenny?"

"She's down at Angel Grove park," the Cryptkeeper replied.

"Hmm. She sure spends a lot of time alone," Andros said.

"That's because she's a loner, like you," Spinal told him. "Like I used to be."

"But when she needs help having a good time, she comes to us," the Cryptkeeper added.

"She's awfully strange," Andros commented.

"Well, aren't we all?" inquired the Cryptkeeper.

Without another word, Andros left the Simudeck. Spinal and the Cryptkeeper continued their game.

* * *

Jenny sat on top of a picnic table with her diary in her lap. She opened it up and began to write..... Dear Diary,

What kind of mess am I in now? Darkonda has recently asked me to marry him. Elgar was persistent enough, but I know that Darkonda is more intelligent, evil, and forceful. There's no telling what he'll pull off. Don't get me wrong; I do like Darkonda, but I can never be wed. I'm much too young. I can't even marry the Cryptkeeper, as much as I love him. I don't know how long I'll be able to resist Darkonda.

She teleported her diary back to the Megaship. Then she reached into her pocket and pulled out the strength potion that she had forgotten to give to Darkonda.

"What am I going to do with this?" she asked herself. "I don't need it."

She slipped it back into her pocket and started walking around. As she passed a large bush, she heard a rustling sound. She spun around, but there was nothing to see.

"All right," she mumbled. "Something is happening, and I don't like it."

As the rustling continued, it seemed to be getting louder. Jenny breathed heavily to control her fear. Suddenly, a green vine shot out from the bush and wrapped itself around her body. She gasped and lunged forward, trying to break free, but the vine was too strong. So she spun around, unwrapping the vine. Then she staggered back and watched the vine disappear back into the bush. Jenny sighed with relief, wondering what was going on. However, the vines weren't giving up yet. They shot from the bushes again and wrapped around Jenny's feet. They gave a rough jerk, yanking her feet from under her. She crashed onto her back roughly. Before she could sit up to free herself again, the vines dragged her toward the bush. Jenny screamed from her body scraping across the ground. When she was pulled behind the bush, the screaming stopped.

* * *

Once the pool game was finished, C.C. called Spinal to their bedroom.

"Hey, C.C., what's up?" Spinal asked.

"Lay down, Spinal," C.C. instructed.

"Okay." Spinal began to recline on the bed.

"On the floor," C.C. said.

"Okay." Spinal got down on the floor as C.C. spread out his arms and legs. "What are you doing?"

"Don't move, Spinal. I'll move you if I need to." C.C. started rubbing his ribcage thoroughly.

"Oh man, I can't stay awake," Spinal sighed.

"Go ahead and sleep if you need to," C.C. told him.

As she continued to massage him, he fell asleep. Soon, T.J. peeked in to see what was happening.

"C.C.? What are you doing?" he asked.

C.C. gasped and looked up at him. "Shh." She pointed at Spinal. She raced to her bed and grabbed the pillow. Then she put the pillow on Spinal's ribcage and rested her head on it. She let out a slow sigh of comfort.

"Hmm...." T.J. shook his head and left the room.

* * *

Jenny woke up slowly. The last thing she remembered was being ensnared by vines in the park. She looked around to find herself in a warm, comfortable bed. Her surroundings looked like that of a fancy bedroom. But where was she? What had happened? Jenny looked around some more to find her captor --- Darkonda --- standing in front of a dresser with a mirror gazing at himself. As he hummed the tune to "Here Comes the Bride," he started laughing for no apparent reason. Jenny tried to keep still, hoping that Darkonda wouldn't notice that she was awake. However, he apparently saw her in the mirror because he spoke.

"There is no escape, Tonfa Spice."

Jenny looked around again, still confused. "Darkonda? Where am I?"

"It's just a bedroom," Darkonda said, standing over her. "Now I suppose, once again, you're wondering why I brought you here."

"Of course."

"I just had to tell you the great news. I'm getting married! Isn't that wonderful?"

"Wait, wait," Jenny snapped. "You had me get ambushed by a bush just to tell me that you're getting married!?"

"Well....yeah....but you won't believe who the lucky bride is," Darkonda replied.

"I have no idea."

"You, my love."

Jenny gasped in shock and tried to leap out of the bed, but Darkonda firmly gripped her shoulder and pushed her back down.

"You don't say," she said. "Wait......wait......who gave you permission to marry me?"

"Why, your mother, of course," Darkonda told her.

Jenny sighed in frustration. "I should've known." This time, she forced her way out of the bed, shoving Darkonda aside.

"Think about it this way," Darkonda said. "Your mother is the queen of all evil; therefore, you are the heiress to the throne. With you as my bride, I'll be the Emperor. We'll explore the universe, wreaking havoc together. We'll be the most evil couple of all time."

"Darkonda, I am not dedicated to doing evil like YOU are," Jenny said, pressing her index finger into his forehead. "Face it, we're just too different. I'm sixteen, you're.......how old? I'm human, and you're........whatever you are! This marriage would never work out. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is. Well, I need to go."

She turned around and started toward the door, but Darkonda quickly snuck up and took her into a tight bear hug.

"I'm afraid you cannot leave," he told her.

"Let me go!" Jenny cried, squirming helplessly in his grip.

Darkonda only dragged her back into the room and faced the mirror. "Look; don't we look great together!?"

Jenny stared into the mirror. She found the sight quite humiliating. There had to be some way to get out of this mess.

"Darkonda.....did you ever stop to think about whether or not we have ANYTHING in common?" she asked.

"I don't care," Darkonda said. "I know that by marrying you, I'll have to wait to inherit the throne, but it's worth it."

"Why don't you marry Astronema so that you don't have to wait?" Jenny suggested.

"My feelings for Astronema are not as intense as my feelings for you."

"Are you happy with the idea of having Candy Spice as your sister-in-law? Or how about having Astronema as your mother-in-law?"

"I won’t hold those simple factors in mind. I am willing to tie the knot at whatever costs."

Jenny sighed in frustration. Apparently, talking her way out of it was totally ineffective. Darkonda squeezed her tightly, forcing a grunt out of her. The squeeze also motivated her to struggle again.

"Let go of me!" she cried again.

"Come, my sweet; we have a wedding to prepare for," Darkonda said.

He disappeared from the bedroom, taking Jenny with him.

* * *

Spinal and C.C. woke up from their peaceful, romantic nap. Spinal was surprised to find C.C. on his ribcage.

"C.C., what the....?" he wondered.

C.C. only removed the pillow and rubbed his ribcage. "Spinal, it feels so good," she said.

"I am bones," Spinal told her. "Nearly every living thing has those inside of them."

"Maybe, but we can’t touch those bones. And surely none of them can be as healthy as yours."

Spinal sighed and stood up. Together, he and C.C. walked through the hallway in the ship. As they walked, something tapped on Spinal’s shoulder. Spinal and C.C. both turned around to see some creature roaring ferociously at them. C.C. let out a shriek, but quickly realized that it was only T.J. in a werewolf mask. Spinal, however, reacted differently. He screamed and took off down the hallway. T.J. took off his mask, but Spinal was already out of sight. T.J. and C.C. stared down, confused. After a pause, they ran after him.

Spinal raced into the jump tube room still screaming. The other Rangers, along with several other Spices were sitting around the table. They watched Spinal as he made a gigantic leap and dove through the red jump tube. Seconds later, T.J. and C.C. peeked into the room.

"Spinal, it was just me," T.J. said.

"Too late, T.J.," the Cryptkeeper said. "You scared him clean off the Megaship."

"Is he always like this?" Ashley asked.

"Yes, especially when it comes to werewolf masks," Hanim told her.

"No kidding. Spinal hates werewolves," the Cryptkeeper added. "Werewolves are part of the dog family, and what do dogs like to eat?"

"Bones," the others replied at once.

"Well, I’d better find him and see if he’s okay," T.J. said. "I don’t want him to be scared forever."

"You’d be lucky if he recognizes you," the Cryptkeeper told him.

Without another word, T.J. went to his jump tube and hopped into it.

"Hmm.......so Jenny doesn’t like to hang out with friends that much, huh?" Cassie asked.

"She really has nothing to say," the Cryptkeeper said. "Actions may speak louder than words, but words hurt a hell of a lot more than sticks and stones. It doesn’t matter what they say."

"But I can’t believe that she spends so much time alone," Ashley said.

"Some people need it," Hanim said. "If you were rejected for years, would you even bother trying to make friends?"

"Well, everybody needs friends," Carlos said.

"But Jenny does have friends --- us," Hallie said.

"It’s just that she preferred not to take the chance of being rejected AGAIN," the Cryptkeeper explained.

"The situation does sound pretty awful," Andros said.

"And we’re no better off now," C.C. added. "Now we’re doomed to an eternity of war."

"You mean you guys are, like, immortal?" Carlos asked.

"Something like that," the Cryptkeeper replied. "Spice Club forever!"

"Hmm. Immortality isn’t everything," Andros told them.

"We know," Hanim said. "There are times when we wish that we were still dead. It’s not easy, thinking about fighting forever."

The group ran out of things to say........

* * *

Jenny reappeared in a large room. Quantrons and other weird monsters were standing around, chatting. The room looked just like the room she was in when she was almost forced to marry Elgar. There were refreshment tables covered with all kinds of steaming alien food. Jenny looked around. She just now noticed that Darkonda wasn’t there with her. So she looked around for another familiar face. The only things she recognized were the Quantrons.

"Hello?" she whispered nervously. "Anybody out there?"

Suddenly, Jenny felt something poking her shoulder. She turned around and found Elgar standing behind her.

"Hi. It’s nice to see you, sugar," he said.

Jenny sighed with relief. "Oh, Elgar, this whole thing has gotten totally out of hand."

"I wanted to ask you, do you really intend to marry Darkonda?" Elgar asked.

"Of course not. I’m getting the hell out of here," Jenny told him. "Just like you, Darkonda is just too different. I doubt that we have a single thing in common."

"Gee.......I’d love to help you, kid, but I’d surely get caught with all these monsters around."

"Elgar, where am I?"

"This is the same place where we were going to get married last Valentine’s Day. Remember?"

"How could I forget?"

"Well, Darkonda is more clever than I ever was. He was careful enough to make sure that your friends didn’t know what was going on," Elgar explained.

Suddenly, Elgar felt a hand grab his shoulder and turn him around. Jenny heard a familiar growl. It was Ecliptor.

"Hey, purple-head, what did you tell her?" he asked.

"Ecliptor, I thought you said you weren’t coming," Elgar said.

"Grrr. Astronema ordered me to come," Ecliptor told him. "Now where is Darkonda?"

"I don’t know; he disappeared on me," Jenny said.

"Do you really intend to marry Darkonda?" Ecliptor asked.

"Of course not. We just weren’t meant for each other. I gotta get out of here! Ecliptor, help me...."

"I don’t help people."

"Aww....too bad. You’d feel really good. Besides, you help Astronema, don’t you?"

"She is my queen."

Astronema entered the room and approached the group. "Ah, congratulations to my beloved evil daughter."

"I’m not evil, Mother," Jenny told her. "Hey, Ecliptor stinks. He’s not happy with the wedding idea, yet he won’t do a thing to stop it."

"Ecliptor has been my trusted protector since I was a child," Astronema told her.

"Really!? Well, well, well......how long ago was that?"

"Millennia ago."

"Hey, honey, guess who’s gonna be the preacher," Elgar said out of nowhere.

"Who?" Jenny asked.

"Uncle Havoc!"

"Oh, him. He was cool."

"I’ve got to get out of here," Jenny thought to herself. "But how can I get out of here if I don’t even know where ‘here’ is?"

"So, Ecliptor," she said aloud. "Would you mind telling me why you hate Darkonda so much?"

"That is none of your business," Ecliptor replied.

"Fine. Be that way," Jenny snapped. "Goodbye, Candyman!"

"Stop calling me Candyman, or I shall mince you!"

"Mince me, and there’ll be a very angry groom. You must consider other people’s feelings, Ecliptor."

"My dear daughter, what have those Earthlings done to you?" Astronema asked. "They’ve turned you into a.......kind and considerate person."

"Hey, Mother, you were an Earthling once, too, you know," Jenny told her. "You helped them teach me to be kind and considerate."

Just then, a Quantron tapped Ecliptor’s shoulder and whispered something into his ear. Then Ecliptor turned to Astronema.

"Good news. Spinal has just been found in Angel Grove park."

"Is he alone?" Astronema asked.

"Only the Blue Ranger is with him," Ecliptor replied.

"That’s lonely enough. Send the Quantrons to seize him."

"Uh-oh," Jenny thought. "Better warn Spinal and T.J.....but then again, they can take care of themselves."

As soon as the thought crossed her mind, General Havoc appeared in the great hall.

"Ah, greetings, everyone. Shall we begin?" he called.

A chill ran down Jenny’s spine. "Lord help me....."

* * *

Spinal sat on a picnic table in the park. T.J. approached him casually, still carrying the werewolf mask.

"Spinal, there’s nothing to be afraid of," he said. "It was just me in this werewolf mask."

To his surprise, Spinal gasped. "T.J., put that away!" he cried. "I can’t stand anything that resembles sharp teeth!"

"Well, Spinal, I’m sorry. I had no idea that you would react the way you did. Even C.C. was shocked. I thought she knew everything there was to know about you."

"She knows that I hate sharp-toothed animals. In fact, everybody should know. All the Spices do......what is that noise?"

Spinal and T.J. looked around, but they didn’t see anything suspicious.....for the second. The next thing they realized, an army of Quantrons was standing in front of them, ready for battle. Spinal and T.J. leaped to their feet instantly.

"Quantrons!?" T.J. cried in surprise. "What do they want?"

"It’s not what they want, but it’s what Astronema wants," Spinal told him. "And that’s me!"

The Quantrons attacked. T.J. and Spinal split up around the park. As a Quantron threw a kick, T.J. grabbed its leg and twisted it. Spinal shoved his kneecap into another Quantron, then tossed it over his shoulder, knocking over two more. Just then, another Quantron kicked him in the ribcage, sending him into a group of trash cans. Spinal quickly retaliated by grabbing a trash can lid and using it as a shield.

T.J. kicked two Quantrons at once with a jumping split kick, then kicked another, who ran in between them. Just then, another Quantron wrapped its arms around him. T.J. quickly broke free and elbowed it in the chest. Then he gave it a thrust kick to keep it away.

As Spinal started to kick a Quantron, it grabbed his ankle and shoved it upward. One of the Rangers’ favorite tactics is to flip over and land on their feet. Spinal, however, lacked the flipping skills. As he flipped over, he landed flat on his chest. Fortunately, Spinal did have the ability to get up quickly, which he did. He charged at the Quantron and rammed the trash can lid into it, knocking it down. Suddenly, a Quantron grabbed him from behind, encircling his neck with its arm and hooking its other arm under Spinal’s. Another two Quantrons grabbed both his arms, causing him to drop the trash can lid. One Quantron rushed in front of him and dove into his ribcage. Then ANOTHER two Quantrons grabbed his legs. Spinal gasped in horror as he realized that he was in big trouble. He looked about the park desperately.

"T.J., help!!!" he screamed.

T.J. sweeped a Quantron, then paused with a confused look. "Spinal?" After looking around, he noticed Spinal’s hopeless predicament.

"Hurry, T.J.!" Spinal cried. "Help me, please!!"

T.J. ran over and pulled a Quantron off Spinal’s leg. Another Quantron released Spinal’s other leg to attack T.J. T.J. threw that Quantron away, then kicked the one holding Spinal’s left arm. He moved behind Spinal and threw the one holding his other arm. The Quantron on Spinal’s ribcage stood up to attack T.J., but he threw that one off. Spinal stepped on the final Quantron’s foot, then elbowed it in the chest. After that, the Quantrons repeated. Spinal brushed himself off.

"You okay?" T.J. asked.

"Yeah. Thanks for saving me, T.J.," Spinal said. "That was too creepy. I just can’t let Astronema get her hands on me again."

"I know, this whole thing is disgusting."

"Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m going back to the ship."

Without hesitation, Spinal teleported out of the park. T.J. followed. They ended up back on the Astro Megaship instantly. Spinal walked right past the other Spices and out of the jump tube room. T.J. joined the other Rangers at the table, sighing.

"What’s wrong?" Ashley asked.

"Well, we settled things, but then we got attacked by Quantrons," T.J. replied. "They tried to nab Spinal."

"Uh-oh," the Cryptkeeper said rather loudly. "Astronema’s trying to get her hands on him again."

"Poor guy," Hallie sighed. "He must be miserable."

"Yet I can’t blame Astronema," the Cryptkeeper added. "Spinal’s just so CUTE!!"

"Aren’t we lovable?" Hallie gushed.

The Rangers nodded uncertainly......

* * *

In the great hall place, General Havoc was ready to perform his park. Jenny and Darkonda stood side by side in front of him.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this bounty hunter and this Spice girl," Havoc announced. "First off, we’ll do the exchange."

"Exchange?" Jenny asked.

"Yes. Give something to Darkonda, anything at all."

"But.....I don’t have anything."

"Come on, you must have something. You have to give him something, even if it means your shoes, your ring, whatever. Just give him something."

"Or those key cards," Darkonda added.

"I don’t have the key cards on me," Jenny told him. "I won’t carry those things around."

"Go ahead and give him your ring," Havoc instructed.

Jenny looked at her Spice ring. "I can’t give it to him; it won’t come off my finger."

"Let’s see....." Darkonda gently grasped her hand and tried to pull the ring off. As Jenny said, it wouldn’t come off. "Hmm, that’s stuck good. I’ll just have to take the whole finger."

"No!" Jenny screamed, pulling her hand back. "They’re my fingers! You have your own fingers!"

"Then it looks like it’ll have to be your shoes," Havoc said.

"I can’t give him my shoes," Jenny told him. "Come to think of it, I do have something....."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the small vial of strength potion.

"What is that?" Havoc asked.

"It’s a strength potion," Jenny replied, holding it out to Darkonda. "I was supposed to give it to you during the dinner date, but I sort of forgot. But you know what they say: Better late than never."

Darkonda took the potion and examined it. "Where did you get this?" he asked.

"Ecliptor told me to give it to you. Therefore....." Jenny leaned closer and whispered into his ear. "I’d advise you not to drink it."

"Hmm.....it is a gift that just might be useful to me."

"Now, Darkonda, it’s your turn to give her something," Havoc said.

"Don’t worry, General, I have the perfect gift," Darkonda replied, pulling it out.

The gift was a yellow-green necklace with a large dragon’s head. Even Jenny liked it. Darkonda moved behind her and put it on as he spoke.

"See, Tonfa Spice is like a triangle."

"Triangle?" Jenny asked, holding her hair aside so that Darkonda could fasten the necklace.

"Yes. Like a triangle, she has three sides. First, there’s her warrior side; she fights with confidence, determination, and slyness. Second, there’s her social side; she expresses her view with her team with intelligence and merriment. Finally, her third side is what she is showing at this very moment. Her bashful side; she appears to be nervous and harmless. I like a seemingly harmless warrior."

"Are you done?" asked Havoc.

Jenny chuckled at his impatience. Darkonda glared at him.

"Yes, I’m done."

Once the necklace was secure, Jenny felt it and looked at it. Suddenly, the dragon’s eyes on the necklace gave a green glow. Seconds later, Jenny’s eyes glowed green. Apparently, the necklace was cursed. Jenny grabbed her head for a minute, then relaxed.

"Shall we resume?" Havoc asked.

"Yes. We shouldn’t humiliate the poor girl any longer than we need to," Darkonda told him.

"Very well then, I’ll do the short version. Darkonda, do you take this woman to be your wife?"

"I do," Darkonda replied without hesitation.

"Tonfa Spice, do you take Darkonda to be your husband."

"I do," Jenny replied, still helplessly under the necklace’s power.

"There you have it. I now pronounce you spouses. Darkonda, you may kiss your bride," Havoc announced.

Darkonda wasted no time. He leaned over Jenny and kissed her passionately. She could only grab onto him to keep from falling over.

"Good. Now that they’re married, let’s party!" Havoc shouted.

The Quantrons all jumped and cheered. Everyone else just stood there. Darkonda stood up straight and grasped Jenny’s hand.

"Come on, I’ve got one more activity before the honeymoon," he said, dragging his spellbound bride to the refreshment table. He poured two glasses of champagne and handed one to her. Then they locked arms and attempted to drink, although it required them being really close. However, while they were drinking, the necklace eyes and Jenny’s eyes glowed green again, and the necklace suddenly fell off. Jenny dropped her champagne and clutched her head. The first thing she noticed was the necklace on the floor, then she looked up at Darkonda.

"What happened?" she asked.

Darkonda only smiled at her. Jenny looked around some more. Elgar approached the couple.

"Elgar, what’s going on?" Jenny asked.

"Uh.....you don’t want to know," Elgar replied.

"Stand aside, loverboy," Darkonda shouted, suddenly scooping Jenny into his arms.

Jenny let out a shriek in response. "What are you doing!?"

Darkonda responded with one word. "Honeymoon."

"Honeymoon?"

Darkonda ran out of the building and stopped dead. There were Quantrons carrying buckets standing on either side of them. Together, they splashed a purple slime all over the couple. Darkonda laughed with pleasure as Jenny wiped off the ooze, gasping.

"Thank you, Quantrons!" Darkonda shouted as he vanished with Jenny.

* * *

After their conversation in the jump tube room, the Rangers and Spices moved to the bridge. The Cryptkeeper had an interesting subject worth talking about.

"If you really think about it, the English language is really weird."

"What do you mean?" T.J. asked.

"Right now, I’m thinking about the plurals," the Cryptkeeper went on.

"What’s so weird about it?" Spinal asked. "We got cat, cats; dog, dogs; bird, birds; car, cars. What’s the big deal?"

"Well, not all words are like that, Spinal. There are the words that end with an ‘s’ or an ‘x.’ Such as bus, buses; box, boxes, etc. Then let me ask you this: What’s the plural for cactus?"

"Cactuses," Hallie said.

"Strange; I heard it was cacti," C.C. said.

"See, that’s what I’m talking about," the Cryptkeeper told them. "Nobody knows. Then there’s the REALLY weird words. So, what’s the plural for mouse?"

"Mice," the Rangers replied at once.

"Right. Therefore, what’s the plural for house?"

"You’re expecting something like ‘hice,’ right?" Spinal asked.

"Yeah, see? Here’s another example. What’s the plural for goose?" the Cryptkeeper went on.

"Geese," C.C. said.

"Right, so what’s the plural for moose?"

"Meese," Hallie replied. "Ha ha; that is weird."

"Interesting you should bring that up, C.K.," Carlos said. "You wonder why they don’t use the same rules for words with the same sounds."

They came to the conclusion that the English language was strange indeed.

* * *

Darkonda and Jenny reappeared in the same bedroom that they started in. Jenny looked around, confused.

"We’re back in here?" Jenny asked.

"Don’t worry; it’s not far from the great hall," Darkonda assured her.

"Is it over?"

"Yes, my dear; it’s over."

He slowly dropped Jenny to the ground. She didn’t bother to get up. She buried her face in her arms and sighed in humiliation. She couldn’t remember actually getting married, so how could it be over? Darkonda went into a room aside from this bedroom. Upon his departure, Jenny stood up slowly and snuck out of the room.

"Sorry, Darkonda, but I can’t take this anymore," she whispered. "I need to get back home."

She wandered down the hall and eventually found the room where the wedding took place. It was empty now, except for a group of Quantrons. Jenny wanted to reprise her role as the biggest threat to universal conquest, so she snuck up on one of the metal creatures and kicked its behind. As it fell over, the other Quantrons turned to her in surprise. Jenny took a fighting pose and smiled as if to say, "Let’s do it, baby."

The Quantrons charged at her. She ducked under their attacks, then grabbed one by the shoulders and buried her knee into it. Then she tossed it over her shoulders, taking out another two Quantrons. The only remaining Quantron lunged with its blade. Jenny forced its arm aside and elbowed its throat. Then she threw a swift upward kick, causing it to flip over onto its chest. When the Quantrons were defeated, Jenny stopped and looked around the room. Slowly, she walked over to the refreshment table and stopped again. She looked down to see the cursed necklace lying at her feet. She reached down and picked it up. Unlike most women, Jenny knew how to put on a necklace herself. She fastened the necklace on her neck, knowing that it can never control her mind again. She gripped the dragon head with two fingers and gazed down at it. Suddenly, Ecliptor entered the room.

"Tonfa Spice! Why are you here?" he asked.

Jenny looked at him boldly. "I just came to pick up my gift. And now, I’ll be going now."

She slapped Ecliptor heartily on the chest, leaving a slimy, purple handprint.

"What is this slimy stuff?" he asked.

"I have no idea," Jenny told him. "Goodbye, Candyman."

Before she could walk out, however, Darkonda walked in.

"Ah, there you are," he said. "I see you just came to get your gift. Interesting that you should decide to wear it again."

"Darkonda, I see that you’re covered in slime as well," Ecliptor said.

"It’s a wedding thing, Ecliptor," Darkonda told him. "Just marry Candy Spice and the same thing will happen to you."

"Never! I can’t stand Candy Spice, nor can I stand either of you!"

"Oh, you’ll never know," Jenny said, stroking Darkonda as she circled him. "You’d be surprised at how you feel about someone. Well, I gotta go. Have fun, y’all."

She walked out of the room. Ecliptor grabbed his sword and prepared to go after her, but Darkonda stopped him.

"Let her go; she’s earned it. Besides, my deed is done."

"What do you mean?" Ecliptor asked.

"Tonfa Spice is now my Tonfa Spouse. The best part is, she doesn’t even know it," Darkonda explained. "It won’t be long before I reign supreme as the Emperor of Evil; and with the mysterious Tonfa Spice by my side, we’ll be able to accomplish anything."

"But she’ll surely rejoin her friends in fighting against evil."

"Oh, that’s all right. It’s more fun that way."

* * *

Finally, Jenny reached the Astro Megaship. When the others saw her covered in slime, they got really curious.

"Damn!!" Curly cried.

"What happened to you?" Carlos asked.

"Love the necklace, honey," the Cryptkeeper said. "Where’d you get it?"

"You don’t want to know," Jenny told them. "I really need to wash up."

So she went into the Simudeck and programmed the bathroom environment and showered herself. When she was done, she went into the bedroom and looked deep into her spirit.

"I could’ve sworn something happened," she said to herself. "If I just concentrate on my spirit, I can remember what happened."

So she looked, and thought long and hard. After several minutes, the answer came to her. She gasped in shock.

"Oh my gosh! It’s official! Darkonda is my husband!!!"

She reclined in her bed. By assuring herself that nothing else was going to change, she slowly drifted off to sleep.

The End... for now

Rule

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